It was not until I was old enough to travel that my mom was brave enough to show off her first child to her family in Mexico City. My mom had not seen either her family or her homeland for two years. It would only be mom and myself traveling while dad stayed home working.
I was my grandparent’s first grandchild and so you could imagine how spoiled I was. Spoiled not so much in the sense of materialistic things but rather with a lot of love and affectionate hugs and kisses. My youngest of uncles was the one that really took care of me during that trip. He is two years my senior and he was so intrigued with someone who could possibly be smaller than him. I would run out of the house and he would be the first one chasing after me “carrying” me back into the house. Little did he know that he was actually hurting me more than he was actually helping, but I guess I didn’t mind too much, after all I loved the attention.
During our stay there the family went to visit Chapultepec Park in the heart of the city. The several buses and subway that were taken to get there were all worth it at the end. Trapped in a claustrophobic position in the subway had to be the worst part of it though. I extended my arms out pushing against the other mommies; they were hogging my breathing space. Eventually, we made it to the park and I wanted to grab at everything that the salespeople wanted to hand at me. Balloons of all colors, the zoo of stuffed animals and the entire cool lighted up toy collection, I wanted them all. And of course when I didn’t have my way I threw the biggest tantrum imaginable. That vacation was the last time that I would be the center of attention. Soon thereafter Jon would arrive. Good, I needed to grow out of that spoiled brat phase.
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I really enjoyed reading your piece. I thought it was cool how you included both the non-personal and personal details. To strengthen this I would have recommended adding a little more detail about the people in your story. By doing this it would allow us as readers to become even more immersed in your writing. Also I’m not sure if you had intended this but I would possibly look at rephrasing:
ReplyDelete“Balloons of all colors, the zoo of stuffed animals and the entire cool lighted up toy collection, I wanted them all.”
Specifically the “entire cool lighted up toy collection” sounds awkward unless you were trying to describe it as if you were actually that age. If that’s the case then it was a nice touch. Overall very nice job, I really enjoyed reading it.
It is interesting to record memories of when you were little because the experiences can be fun to write about. The main question I had was if you remembered this (I am assuming so) or if this is what someone told you happened. Because the assignment was to write about a scene from your family history that you weren't born for or don't remember, I was wondering if perhaps these were things people told you that happened. It was written well but I couldn't figure out if it followed our writing prompt. Good job. Looking forward to the next one.
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